We all go through many emotional setbacks in our lives and how we all handle each setback is adamantly unique. However, some can easily shake up an ireful situation and quickly switch it up into a spring of positive emotions. So today, I share with you the five notes to self you must start practising.
In contrast, others could not get out of the rut and continuously find themselves trapped in the hollow grounds of loneliness and sadness. Whichever situation you chose to be drawn to, the bottom line is, there will always be a time to recuperate after what seems to be complete devastation and nothingness. Life is solely based on how we deal with things and how we perceive them to be like.
The outcome is usually the product of our ability to be decisive, whatever the situation might be.
After experiencing several setbacks and a roller-coaster of emotions, I thought of sharing these five notes to self I constantly whisper myself, with hopes that somehow this would uplift weary souls and lost thoughts:
The notes to self I always say
1. Everything happens for a reason.
I firmly believe that everything we are all going through, be it good or bad, has already been written in God’s book of life, and there’s nothing we can do to change it except by living accordingly.
Though we are faced with tough challenges in our lives, we are only explicitly tested on how long we can keep going on with life without losing faith. Sometimes, it’s far easier to lose the faith than hang on tight; again, it’s a trial. And trials are meant to be faced wholeheartedly because we all experience it one way or another.
2. It’s healthier to forgive.
I have come to realize that committing mistakes and doing fault to others is a reality of life. We all make mistakes, and through mistakes, we learn. However, when others have wronged them, it’s too difficult for them to regain trust and eventually ruin strongly built relationships. Therefore, I chose to be free from the burden of carrying grudges.
I have learned that it is indeed healthier to forgive than to hold an enormous amount of anger and resentment toward those who have wronged us. A simple misunderstanding should be dealt with as soon as possible before it leaks into gaps. Sometimes, there’s one thing that keeps us from not wanting to forgive the other person, and that’s pride.
A small argument can be patched up if we all humble ourselves and accept that we aren’t perfect. However, if we allow pride to get in the way, what seems to be a minor issue will turn out to be a burden that’ll eventually get too heavy for the heart to hold and might lead us into loneliness and sorrow.
What’s worse, if we allow such things to happen, if we enable minor misunderstandings to grow cold until who knows when, how can we deal with the more prominent disputes that await us in the coming days?
We all long for a peaceful mind, a serene heart and an untroubled soul; if you try to be more forgiving, you will feel lighter, happier and healthier. If there’s no grudge in your heart, you will feel the grace of God even more as Jesus himself forgave all the people who have not treated him right and even died to save the sins of humankind. I may sound very religious, but I want to impart how light it feels on the heart when grudges are kept unlocked.
So, I always pray for God to bless us all with a forgiving heart so we wouldn’t be trapped in the misery of anger. If there’s someone you are most angry with today, ask for God’s divine grace to allow you to be free from that pain and be able to let go and forgive fully.
I have people who were a part of my life before that I have forgiven, and it felt good; I also have close friends whom I am yet to forgive and make amends with.
I know it’s hard to forgive, but it’s one step to finding inner peace, seeing the light and being happy. You might not forget what the other person has done to you, but at least you made yourself a favour by forgiving and asking God to help you endure until your anger diminishes ultimately.
3. We can’t please everyone.
This is a fact. No matter how perfect we thought the flow of our life has become (career, studies, passion, love, friendship, relationships), there will be complexities along the way. There will be people not agreeing on the things we love to pursue or disagree with how we live our lives. So I am no longer thrilled.
Before, I thought I’d live my life as polished as possible. But then, as I age, it’s pretty befitting to just be myself without getting thrilled of being understood and accepted. People are entitled to their own opinion, be it a good one or one that we’d rather not hear. It’s all about dealing with this kind of people and knowing how to shake off any lousy comment you hear from them.
Unfortunately, we also live in a world where it is easier to judge and hate rather than show some love and appreciation. I constantly tell myself to accept them anyway because we can’t please everyone no matter what we do.
4. Focus on the positives.
This should be second on my list. Looking back on how I have lived my life these past years, I could say I am no longer in denial because I am already able to shout out that I haven’t been optimistic for almost half of my life. But, on the other hand, I am not shy to admit that I am much of a worrier, and I am pessimistic.
This is why being positive is on my must-ponder-for list. If you have been quick to think negative all your life, being optimistic is a challenging thing to do. Especially if life has not been treating you well, but, again, I am patting myself on the back for being less pessimistic these becoming days. I am enjoying the feeling of freedom, freedom from any negative thoughts.
Even upon writing this article, my mind seems to wander, but alas! I am too motivated now more than ever and too inspired to entertain these negative negatives I have collected and stored in my mind throughout my years.
So, if you happen to drop by this post, I hope you, too, can start to embrace optimism. Even if the negatives still outweigh the positives, try to reverse your thinking. But, I also believe, “it’s all in mind.” So, let’s condition our minds to think positively in whatever circumstance, even when troubles pour by storm and without notice.
5. Acceptance is critical.
Last but most definitely not least, accept life as it unfolds. Accept that everything doesn’t always go our way, accept that there will always be conflicts no matter how we try to avoid them, except that there will always be downtimes, troubles, problems and days of worry, accept that life isn’t always fair and just, assume that people doesn’t always meet our expectations, accept that we are all unique.
But! Knowing that when we choose to live by God’s plan, it would be easier for us to deal with life and accept its complexities.
The more I remind myself of these, the happier I become.
Always keep these five notes to self in mind if you want to gain a better mindset in life.